I am not very good at expressing my feelings, but I will give it a try. They say "anyone can be a Dad but a man to be a Father" and that's what Alex was to me. Yes we had a fall out in our relationship, but my love for him was and always will be strong. He taught me so much without even knowing it. He taught me to love, to be kind, gentle, happy and more because that's what he was. I will always remember his big heart and that smile he never seemed to be without. They always say that daughters are their daddy's little girls and growing up I was just that. He called me his little princess and he gave me what he could, but most of all he gave me love. I remember I used to hide his smokes and when he went to get one, the whole pack would be gone. He would then ask " where are my smokes.?" And I would say laughing " if you want them then you have to go find them". He would never find them so I would give in and go get them. My dad and I had 2 favourite card games we played together Go fish and War, and I would cheat like you wouldn't believe. With go fish he would ask me for a card and I would say that I didn't have it, then ask him later for it and convince him he didn't ask me for it. Then with war, he would go to the bathroom and I would take all my bad cards and switch them with his good ones. Later, he would clue in and laugh. I also remember we would watch Freddy Kruger, that was one of our favourite movies to watch together. He used to also watch crocodile Dundee but I was never a fan. One last story I would like to share. It was a quiet Saturday evening and it was mike,dad, myself and one of my dad's friends we knew for a long time. There was nothing on TV and my dad says " I wish something exciting would happen around here". At that very moment we heard something outside it was a speeding car that had flipped over a few times and landed in the way it was going. We all turned to my dad and I said " is that exciting enough for you dad?" He said "yes" (with that smile on his face). The driver was drunk and he left the scene on foot but they got him and he was lucky that he just had minor injuries same with his dog that he had with him in the car. I could not say the same for his car. My dad was a great man and amazing father. He would tell me how he would love it when I said the word button. It made him laugh and and he said it was cute how I said it. I am sad he is gone because I am going to miss him so very much. It would be selfish of me if I said that I wanted him to live forever but I am not like that, he was suffering in pain and I did not want that for him. He is now at peace. There are some things I would like to say out loud to my father. I know that I never called you as much as I should have, but I know there was not a single day when you Hadn't thought about me. There is not going to be a single moment of my life which will not remind me of you. I know that our past was not all sunshines and rainbows. We had some ups and downs, but you where still there with me standing tall and helping me be strong. I am glad we were able to put our past behind us and tried to have a father daughter relationship, because the past is the past and we both did not want to live in the past but the future as a family. Not a day will go by when I won't imagine what my life would be if you had not died. I miss the sound of your voice, your hugs. I really wish I could hug you right now. I miss your words of wisdom, your sense of humour and the sound of your laughter. You've left people with a lot of good memories of you. They always mention how you made them laugh, always listened, how you always helped whoever you could with whatever you could. It gives me feeling of warmth inside to hear these things about you, and inspires me to be the kind of daughter you'd be proud of. I know you are with me always and watching over me. Thank you daddy. Thank you for your love. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for being hard working human being who encouraged me to be the person I can be and to do the best I can in everything that I wish to achieve. Mostly thank you for being my father, I love you. I am sorry I could not be there in Calgary by your side while you where alive, but I am glad I got to see you one last time along with my daughters on FaceTime from Montreal. So finally thank you to my auntie Janina, uncle Brian, cousins Jacky and Patrick for being there for my dad when I couldn't . For being by his side when you could. I know your suffering as much as I am. I love you all very much. I just hope in spite of my dad's passing we still can be a family in spite of the distance between us because I need you in my life, you're all I have of my father's side. To the staff at foothills hospital and To the staff at Rose dale hospice, thanks for making my dad's last month of his life as comfortable and painless as possible. I heard nothing but wonderful things about you. Much love to all Christina Marie Alexandra Varga June 15, 2014 P.S Happy Father's day, and Happy Birthday
